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(no subject) [Mar. 22nd, 2009|01:34 am]
I had an appendectomy. This is good because for a month and half before this I (rather legitimly) thought I had cancer - and appedicitis is better than cancer.
This is bad because the recovery time is 4 - 6 weeks, and the health insurances that I had just got turned out to be scam and I am just completly fucked right now.
I feel really lucky for all the good people in my life right now - my sister Lilli is visiting me, my dad managed to do a flight connection change-a-roo and visited me for a night, and my boyfriend is just amazing. My best friends visited me in the hospital AND since I have been stuck in my apartment, and my boss and co-workers have been so kind and caring - with flowers, constant check ups and they are trying to get me disabillity pay!
So I am trying to keep my head up, but I feel quite overwhelmed and I just have no patience for other peoples stupid shit - so I am afraid I am turning into a bitch, but then again I am only impatient to people I don't care about so maybe it isn't too great a loss.
I was hoping to see family in England this summer ( with my boyfriend - it was a big deal and we had been saving up for ages) and I also was saving up for the move I have to do in august. It is scary when you only have youself to fall back on. My boyfriend would help me out as much as he could, but niether of us can afford the $10,000 of potential hospital debt I am looking at. I have been researching medicaid and Medicare (not for my self - unfortuately) and it is just ridiculous how this country treats it's citizens. I trully don't understand it, but I can't start on that now or I would just never shut up. I am just going to go back to taking the generic oxycodone that I paid full price for until I get the hospital bill.
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(no subject) [Aug. 29th, 2008|02:11 pm]
hmm, figured I should update since things are going well for me at the moment - although if you had talked to me a couple of weeks ago (and definitely still partly- and always)I was a complete mess emotionally, although that is normal after loss.
I figured I would let people know what I was up to..

So. I got a job for the money necessity thing by waitressing in a British restaurant (Tea and sympathy - love it!) and I am so happy! I work with such lovely people, and the money is good, and it cures my overwhelming homesickness! um cream tea every day bitches? I think so!
on top of that I have been able to keep up the bohemian-I-work-when-can-but-at-least-it-is-still-art-related-lifestyle by doing freelance photography, I'll talk about that more later though!
AND I am TAing for my favourite colour printing teacher, which I feel good about since I am confident in my printing, so I feel confident that I can help - and I will be able to use the lovely SVA facilities without paying those damn astronomical new york colour lab fees!

so yeah, if you had asked me a few weeks ago, I would not have had time to respond since I was flying back to oklahoma city to spend that last few days with my grandpa while he made the conscious decision to stop his kidney dialysis that he needed due to the 4 different types of cancer he had had in the past five years. which I am still torn up about. And I was also upset because although I do not personally believe in an afterlife, I did not want to be remembered in my grandpas' as the granddaughter who worked at virgin megastore (although I give him more credit than that of course - it was a personal failure I was dealing with as well). but luckily on my last day with him I was able to tell him that I was offered a better job (tea and sympathy - peace out Virgin!). When I left for the airport, I thanked him for always being there for me and he told me he would always be there for me. SO yeah, I was a mess.
He died a week later, and due to money and the dire situation of the flight industry I was not able to attend the funeral (which still upsets me - although I do feel for my sister who was able to attend the funeral, but not to see him before he died due to her obligations as an RA/pressure to save money on her tuition at her college).
since he died his house has been emptied and put up for sale, and, of course, it still upsets me that with both of my paternal grandparents gone now, not only have I not been able to hug my father, but I have not been able to return to Oklahoma and the house that we lived in for our first few months in America when we were making the transition. I just want to be with my family but they are so far away. it is really hard living so far from them, but both of parents know that pain.

so anyway, although I am still not over that ordeal, things are looking up. things are going great for my boyfriend as well, and we are getting a cat on SUNDAY! which I am so excited about!
and I truly like my job, and the prospects photography has given me. and I am still managing to spend time with my friends and boyfriend on top of work, so I feel like I am balancing things well. And I am still managing to take photographs! I am so excited to get back into the darkroom!
yeah, so life is ok.
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(no subject) [Jun. 22nd, 2008|06:14 pm]
[Current Location |the lone star state]

figuring out your next move, when you have no idea what you want (or where you want to be), is difficult.

I am in Texas at the moment, I am not going to England after all.
Because of this, I don't have a defined departure date.
I have so much that I am looking forward to in returning to NYC, I just can't bring my self to set a date.

I really don't know what I am doing.
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(no subject) [May. 1st, 2008|02:39 pm]
showed my site to my photo business class (as an end of term assignment) and the dinosaurs that teach it had trouble understanding that the photos on the left were links to galleries, and said that i should have text there naming the series, so that people would know what they are clicking on.

sooyeah, i did that, and i am not sure i like it! i think i just preferred it when the images spoke for themselves.

what do you think? any opinions are welcome! NatashaKaser.com

I am currently writing my LAST EVER PAPER. then I am done! (unless I decide to go to grad school someday, who knows?) I just want it to be done so I can go party at the fine art open studios tonight.
oh well. ahahahhahahaha SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER ! AH!
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Lists! [Apr. 17th, 2008|12:48 am]
[music |hot chip]

Good Things:

Mentors show was so fun!
My mentor bought me flowers!
My thesis teacher is a darling!
I got a nice email from a photographer that I didn't know saying he saw my work and really liked it!
Lorenna and I will be featured in the next issue of the Visual Opinion, and we get paid big bucks for it!
Speaking of big bucks; NY state is going to give me a hefty return because I filed my taxes on time!
My book came from Blurb.com!
School is almost over!
Best of all:
I got a TA position for both semesters next year!! (I get to use all the school facilities next yr without paying for them = SCORE)

Bad Things:

School is almost over =(
I am dirty because I don't have time to shower these days=(
I HAVE to shower because I work/intern tomorrow=(
It takes me over an hour to get home from this stupid building=(
I have to still print 15 final prints for Stephen Frailey/Thesis class=(
&My throat hurts. =(

oh well, the good outweigh the bad, and are all manageable!
I can take you on life!!
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(no subject) [Apr. 14th, 2008|10:36 pm]
guys! it is almost here!!

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(no subject) [Apr. 10th, 2008|02:05 pm]
New &Improved,

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(no subject) [Apr. 9th, 2008|09:43 pm]

Taxes suck.
but Texas rocks.
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(no subject) [Apr. 2nd, 2008|05:35 am]
and yer, the prospect of graduating has put me in a really bad place at the moment, and i have no idea what i am going to do. I am terrified as hell, but here is hoping it will all turn out ok in. the. end.
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(no subject) [Mar. 30th, 2008|11:46 pm]
firstly: I updated my Website with all my work from earlier this school year. I don't know how I feel about it, but I have pretty much abandoned the style and thought process i used to apply to my earlier photographs.
now for the new stuff!

so I went back to england for a couple of weeks ago, and it was amazing.
I just want to move back there right now, but I am constantly confronted with the question of 'why', and I truly do not know.
my ambition was to shoot my thesis in those two weeks, exploring the culture i miss and want to fit back into, but can not yada yada yada.
at first i thought it was all about me, but when i got back and looked at my contact sheets I realized it was actually all about my mother and that side of the family, and how much I love and miss them.
I am not actually sure what it all means yet, i printed 78 contact sheets, then edited, then printed work prints and 16x20 'final' prints in the span of LESS THAN A WEEK. it was crazy, and I still feel overwhelmed.
i guess i am just not sure what i am doing, or where i want to be, and trying to think about my work in a bigger-picture-sense isn't helping.
that being said, I am completely sick of school, and can not wait to graduate!

Also! Mentor Show is coming up, april 14th at 6pm until 8pm at the Visual Arts Gallery: 601 w. 26th st.
if you are in the area you should attend.

here are some some rather crappy scans!

My Grandmother

My beautiful Mother

plenty more, in no specific orderCollapse )
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